man..

right now these days are those days where kuya is supposed to be here. i feel like shit right now. i just kept getting mad cause kiko just knocked my contact lens out of place and talked back to nanay cause shes getting mad at me. and i still kept talking back even when she calmed down. but if only kuya was here. i would have just walked out of the room and show that i wasnt in pain and not even look at nanay or kiko. they get me hella mad that i dont care about anything or anyone in that time and place. i dont know but whenever kuyas around and something like this happens everything seems to be or wouldve been calmer. like it wouldnt have been a big deal. we both know nanay but i totally tell her what i want to and kuyas just keeping it all in. this is why hes my role model. he doesnt trip off of anything. i always yell out shit thats hella regratable while he just either shakes it off or looks hella mad. he keeps his shit together. and now hes in the army where you cant keep it all in or else someday everything is let out and he starts having ptsd or someshit and go all crazy. but i know that wont happen to him. i just miss the fact that hed be out with his friends or at work and come baack home after. -j9